a busy friday...

some very disturbing news from the russian school situation...apparently there have been many bodies found inside the school and the situation continues to unfold...it just leaves me with such a numb feeling...news reports mentioned parents begging to trade places with their children, and i understand that...if matt or kim were in there, yes, without hesitation i would demand to trade places with them...this is a moment in my faith where i really don't understand and have to just give it up to God...also the hurricane frances situation is concerning me...i am sure that jeph and family have been evacuated...i pray for all of those people seeking shelter and safety...it seems today there are so many prayers that need to be prayed...actually, if you really think about it, every day there are the same numbers of prayers that need to be prayed, how about one for each of the over 6 billion people on earth?...duh...but many times people need specific prayers, like the hostages (and their captors) and families in russia, the people on the southeast us coast, the people of sudan who continue to be in danger, even my own little problems with "how will i pay rent next month?" seems kind of small compared to the huge survival type problems others deal with every day...my own survival problems are actually not concerning me as much as i would have thought...i know that these nodules on my thyroid might be just normal and that a prescription for synthroid will get me feeling better...or...worst case scenario...my melanoma has spread to my thyroid, and yes, i know what metastatic malignant melanoma could mean...i'll just wait to talk to the doctor on wednesday...i continue to be very exhausted and unmotivated, only able to work 5 or 6 hours a day instead of my normal 9.5 when i am teaching and then working at kp...i basically work and sleep...i don't have the hopelessness or worthlessness that might signal a depression or a worsening of my bipolar disorder...kim is concerned (as am i) about konnor's illness, so i pray that he will recover soon...haven't talked to matt for a couple of days, so hope he is doing okay...this weekend i don't know what i have planned, but i really need to get out and be outside instead of cooping up inside...will write more later...really i will...maybe not today, but...