not my best day...

i wouldn't say that things today were my fault necessarily, but there was a lot of tension between matt and me...we spend a lot of time together, which is good, but lately, today, the tension was noticeable...i think that we both want and need "the" relationship in our lives, but i don't know why it hasn't happened apparently for him, and i just haven't made an effort...i don't know...kim is here looking at old photos...she and sean went swimming...it is nice to have her here tonight...we rented movies...i will watch "shadowlands" sometime this week...i have wanted to see it for a while...i am feeling kind of tired and my back is hurting, what else is new?...i am teaching myself russian...i need to get speakers for the computer, so i can use the audio part to help pronounce the words...also have to figure out about getting russian alphabet letter...some actually look like english, and some even are pronounced somewhat similarly, but most are unusual and there are some different sounds...dateline has a story about elian gonzales, remember him?...wonder how he is doing?...he saw his own mother die...very sad...sounds like he has been forgotten, but maybe that is for the best for him...so i will say goodbye...bye...oh, by the way...it's mom and dad's 45th wedding anniversary...good for them...

oh, no, not another new fall series starring jason alexander!?!

we're "watching" the buick open, sort of, and we, meaning matt and i, i think will go to winco and safeway today...i just talked to kim on msn messenger and she sounds good...konnor will be home tuesday...today is mom and dad's 45th wedding anniversary...i could still have a 45th wedding anniversary if i marry somewhat soon...i am only 42, right?...i already had a 20th wedding anniversary...although we weren't together then so i guess it doesn't count...i didn't go to church this morning, but had an interesting "conversation" with God...ok, i am going to go get dressed and we'll go...i hope to stop by and see kim...bye