life seems like such a struggle right now, but it really isn't...

what i mean is that my problems are financial, spiritual, social, physical, emotional, etc...but i have my life and m. and k. are part of it, a big part of it, so just be thankful for the blessings i have and don't stress about the rest...right?...is that what i should do?...i want to be responsible for my bills...i don't know what to do about this month...part of me says, yeah, i can trust God that His will includes some miracle about helping me get my bills paid, but why should i expect help in my life when others with more dire circumstances may not get help?...am i selfish to expect help in an area that i should be responsible?...i guess my prayer needs to be, God, lead me to the person or people who can help me in the way You want to happen...i am not looking for charity, i am looking for someone who can objectively listen and learn about my situation and then make suggestions or observations about what i can do to take care of things...i also need to pray for m. and k., we just had a painfully honest conversation that i think was difficult on us all...they both deserve the truth and then they can figure out what to do with it or how to respond...i just love them both, no matter what, i hope they always know that...i am not showing a very good example, though, by isolating myself and avoiding life...God, You know my intentions, and they are good, but my actions are either lame or nonexistent...please help me find the answers that do Your will and are helpful to the kids and me...help me to trust again...not just You, but others...