this title would be %#@^ if I had written yesterday...

yeah, it happened again, and once again I have that 9/11 feeling of numbness and disgust and am not sure what to do with it...i know, give it to God, i have done that already along with asking, "why? is this one of those things that we can never understand?"...violence is one thing during war, but this particular kind of brutality is impossible to take...how do i pray for his family and friends?...this would be the ultimate "test" of faith, although we know that God does not "test" us, but really if something heinous like this ever happened to a loved one, would i go to God and seek comfort and strength, or would i turn my back on Him?...that scares me almost as much...sometimes i think that my faith is getting so strong, and then i think about how quickly i might discard it all if something like that, or not even that bad, happened...what i have to remember is that God is who is strong in all of this, not me or my faith...all i can do is ask God to never leave me or anyone else, to be with us through all the times of our lives, that we can seek Him and find Him always, although we may not even realize it...help me get through this day and feel better...