hey, it is sunday again...

yesterday might be looked at as weird or strange, my decision to drive to george, washington, only to turn right around and drive back...but my reasoning was that it helped me know where kim and her friends were, what the road was like, and it put me at ease for some reason...i had some kind of peace come over me that assured me that things will either go allright or they won't and there is nothing you can do about it...thanks God for reminding me that i have no control over what happens in my life or anyone else's...it sounds like they had fun there and i hope so...saw matt last night and he told me about jephren's party...i am not going to church for several reasons...i'd like to spend some time with kim, unless she has plans...i also have housework...also i am still tired from the drive home yesterday...actually i really enjoyed driving there, and it gave me some time to think about things...anyway, i know that "going to church" is not necessary for me to have this relationship with the Lord...although it does help in the areas of worship and fellowship...kim is still asleep and i am doing some catching up on housework...what really needs to be done is laundry...sometimes i am selfish and think how "nice" it would be to have a home with 3 bedrooms, a yard, and a washer and dryer...but for now this place is fine...i just need to be thankful for what i have and who i have in my life...friends, family, mainly matt and kim...yeah, i know, i do remember that merely one year ago, things were very different...this whole thing that happened yesterday, that i created by wanting control over things, etc...kim handled it so great, she and i discussed our thoughts and i don't know, i think it might be a good step in the right direction for us...for the first time in months i physically felt the presence of my bipolar disorder and kim was really respectful of that, didn't put me down or anything, actually hugged me a couple of times...all i want in my relationships with matt and kim is to love them no matter what they do or say or think or whatever...they need to know that they have a mom who loves them and that wherever i am, they are always welcome to be a part of it...my back is sort of hurting so i will go now...