why am i so tired?

i just couldn't get "into" work today...meaning i was there for 8 hours, but i just couldn't be my normal interesting and enthusiastic self...except when playing dodgeball...i am so tired, my back and neck hurt (what is new?) and this whole nutrition thing is difficult and it takes a lot out of me...i just need to get some more, or all preferably, of this cleaning and organizing done...i am concerned about a certain situation that just happened and i pray that i did the right thing...i don't want to take away chances for matt or kim to have fun, do things with their friends, etc...i don't know what else to say about it other than it's hard doing this and making difficult decisions alone...although kim was involved and she just continues to show maturity, even when she was obviously disappointed...i know that i am not alone, that God is always there and i can pray or just ramble on endlessly and He listens, but i mean here on earth, there is no one to take this to and talk and discuss...i miss that very much, although i didn't really have a good listening support system during my marriage...that support will be a requirement in my future relationship...so, my back hurts more, so i will go take a rest...i think it is emotional as well as physical...i think the loneliness is trying to come back, but i won't let it...this has been a difficult day, but i think i did my best...