so it's almost 10:30 and i just got home from the concert...we went to support d., r., and a. at their new school...then some of us went to zip's in kennewick and i had a cheeseburger and fries and pop...yeah, i did have tartar sauce with my fries...it is considered illegal to not use tartar sauce with your fries there...not really, but it should be...i rarely eat beef or french fries, but tonight i just did...the drive from finley middle school to zip's was extremely precarious, as my windshield wipers weren't really working and i couldn't see...at night...on a two-lane road...in an unfamiliar setting...in the rain...on a slick road...argh...
so it was a good night...i am tired, mainly due to the lack of sleep last night, the horrible dreams i had, and the overconsumption of caffeine yesterday...actually the caffeine was the cause and the lack of sleep and bad dreams were the effect...isn't it just like a teacher to make everything academic?...sorry...
i hope to God that i don't have any more violent dreams...i won't even describe what occured...i had violent dreams as a child and into my adulthood, and i have had some recently, but not this bad...
december 6, 2004 was a day during which i recalled various moments of a day three years ago...2:30...what was i doing today?...what was i doing three years ago?...don't want to go there...at this time in 2001, i was probably still recovering from a suicide attempt...had to drink that activated charcoal liquid sludge...then at about midnight i was being checked in to the counseling center, for my 13 day stay...it didn't really compare with my 35 day stay at the hospital in bellflower, ca in 1992...this time, i was "working the program" instead of doing God-knows-what...with God-knows-whom...as humbling and horrifying as the event three years ago was, i consider it a total blessing...it enabled those people and situations that didn't belong in my life to leave...it brought to me or kept with me those people or situations that were meant to be there...
i have revealed quite a bit in this blog, and i know that can be a kind of risk, but truthfully, none of this is confidential information...i have been quite open about my mental illness, bipolar disorder, although i am currently not on any meds nor am i a patient of any doctor or counselor, and i don't see that situation changing now or in the future...i guess i will explain more in future blogs, but right now i am tired and need to get things done so i can go to bed soon and be ready for work tomorrow...
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Well, good for you! Sounds like you are doing quite well at standing on your own two feet. And that's plenty more than most people can say. You must be proud...at least you should be...and there's NO shame in being human...as we All are.
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