02/14/05

i may have just received the best valentine's day gift ever possible...there is hope for some kind of reconciliation with kim...i didn't teach today, was feeling overwhelmingly sad, missing her, and prayed and tried to cry but couldn't...so i was resting, then fell asleep and heard knocking at the front door...i didn't want to see anyone, and knew that matt had a key, so...then the phone rang...i thought that matt had misplaced his key, so i walked out to the front room and saw kim looking in the window...she sat and ate her subway sandwich (she loves the ones with bacon and mayo, although you could never tell from her trim athletic build) and we talked and i was honest without being pathetic...it was a wonderful conversation because it was simply a mom and daughter talking...she is going to be here the next few days...something may have happened at her grandparents' home...i don't know...i cried for joy when she left and i prayed that God would help me in this new chance that i have...i need to be realistic, too, and know what has happened and not forget that...but above all, i love kim, have never stopped loving her, no matter what, and that will be the way it was no matter what happens this time...i'd just like kim to know that wherever i am, there is always a place for her...i hope that we can have a real relationship, but i am not sure what that means...so, maybe this is a new day...a new start...we will see...